I’ve always loved Tim McGraw’s song, “My Next Thirty Years.” It’s a song about looking at what you’ve learned from your past, and what you look forward to, the changes you’re going to make, in your future. Yesterday was my birthday. Now, it was actually last year that I turned 30, but I’ve come to realize something over the past year.
I was lost.
I wasn’t happy. I had no passion, and my purpose—my entire being—disappeared under the weight of the world I placed on my shoulder.
I realized what was happened, I took steps to rectify my situation, but to no avail. I continued down the spiral I was on, losing any semblance of who I was and what I wanted out of my life.
I was just lost.
In the middle of my depression and despair, I came to the realization that I wasn’t alone. First and foremost, I had God on my side. He didn’t want this life for me. The Bible tells us that God is not the author of fear.
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10 NKV)
Abundantly. Life abundantly.
I doubt that the life Jesus was referring to looked anything like the last year or so of my life. I know it’s sure not what I would call living.
I also have my wonderful husband—a true gift from God. He has been so supportive through my mood swings, my emotional moments, the moments when I didn’t want to do anything. He put up with my laziness, my fears, and my fits. I have been anything but the godly wife that he deserves, yet he loves me still.
And, of course, my beautiful children. They are smart and amazing…and I’ve taken them for granted. It’s so true what they say about the kids only being young once. And I’m wasting that time—and on what? Nothing of importance, nothing that justifies missing any precious smile or loving moment.
Throw in a variety of amazing friends and family, and I couldn’t be more blessed—but am I being a blessing? Or am I just a selfish, lazy bum, who is so self-obsessed that I can’t see beyond my TV or computer screen?
The past few months have been quite the eye opener. I can’t really pinpoint any particular moments that ushered in this change of heart. It was gradual…a journey. One that is definitely not complete.
One thing that I did come to realize. I was missing two important things: passion and purpose. God blessed me with both, but for whatever reason, I let the thief steal those from me. Life without passion or purpose is not really life.
I’ve been living life on the sidelines. I hide behind various things that keep me from the abundance that Jesus spoke about in the Gospel of John. Passion, purpose, love, opportunities–they all just pass me by as I dig in my heels. Not anymore.
Life is movement, a forward motion, a conglomerate of experiences. It is purpose. It is passion. My goal for this year is to rediscover my passion and to recommit to God’s purpose for my life. I invite you all to join me as I free myself from the chains of self-loathing, fear, laziness, and—with God’s help—spread my wings and discover that abundant life.
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Sarah Tipton
May 21, 2012 at 6:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Welcome back, Ralene!
Okay, this sort of self-reflection and realization must be a 30s thing. Or maybe there’s something in the air this year
I’ve been going through that too. For me, it’s been feeling pulled in ten different directions, not really knowing why I’d choose one direction over another. Well, except for things like dental appointments. I know why I’m pulled that way.
My self-examination came from what I learned from creating characters. Examining their values, ambitions and goals helped me assess mine, which allowed me to narrow down what was important. Family and writing. In that order. Though that doesn’t leave out God. He’s a given.
The last couple of months, I’ve felt less pulled apart by life. I’m having more fun with my kids and seeing God bless my writing—which I’m actually spending less time on. Now when opportunities come up to socialize or get involved in something, I assess them based on how they fit with the ministries God has given me. That makes it easier to say, “No,” when it doesn’t fit.
So I’m with you in this journey. It’s a path that’s constantly changing with so many forks in the road. I pray we keep choosing the right ones!
Ralene
May 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It must be a 30s thing–we haven’t quite hit the mid-life crisis, but we’re headed that direction. lol… Well, I hope my self-reflection and changes produce as much fruit as yours!
Cathy Britt
May 21, 2012 at 10:31 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Isn’t it amazing that our sweet Father reminds us that His Promises are new every morning. And that no matter where we may be in the craziness of our daily lives, He is always the same. Working through us and molding us.
I’m still waiting for thirty to hit me, and we both know that’s coming soon. I’m thankful that God in His mercy has supplied me with several women that can encourage and push me through when its my turn.
The “pit” is not a fun place to be in. Its a place that I have found myself in many times before. But God is faithful every time to provide a light in my darkness that leads me out and right back into His waiting arms. Paul says it well when he reminds us that nothing can ever separate us from the love of Christ. Romans 8:38-39 “Neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
So here’s to 31 my dear sweet friend, may it bring blessings abundantly!
Ralene
May 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks, Cat! You know, you’re the absolute best! Thank you for the encouragement, and I’ll hope you’ll keep joining me here until we can get together in real life.